let it be christmas.

Let it be Christmas everywhere
In the hearts of all people
Both near and afar
Christmas everywhere
Feel the love of the season where ever you are
On the small country roads
Lined with green mistletoe
Big city streets where a thousand lights glow

Let it be Christmas everywhere
Let heavenly music fill the air
Let every heart sing let every bell ring
The story of hope and joy and peace
And let it be Christmas everywhere
Let heavenly music fill the air
Let anger and fear and hate disappear
Let there be love that lasts through the year
Let it be Christmas
Christmas everywhere

Let it be Christmas everywhere
With the gold and silver, the green and the red
Christmas everywhere
In the smiles of all children asleep in their beds
In the eyes of young babies their first fallen snow
Elderly's memories that never grow old...

---

A friend shared her Christmas playlist with me and this song was on it. As I walked to Starbucks this morning, I had tears in my eyes as I listened to it. I'm still listening to it on repeat as I write this.

The lyrics really speak to me. (Cheesy? Maybe, but true? Definitely.)

Christmas was hard for me growing up because as exciting and magic-filled as it was, there were also elements of anger and fear. I'm trying to change that for my kids. Year-round, not just at Christmastime.

Clarke slept through his first snow, but he doesn't know, so his second (or third or fourth) can be his first. And I'm sure he and Mabel will both be asleep in their beds with smiles.

And just yesterday I got a card from Fran, my Grampy George's wife. I cried because she thought of me and my family, and because it's the first year that my Grampy didn't write it and address it himself in his familiar calligraphy. I hope he has a happy Christmas even though it's his first in a nursing home.

Anyway, enough rambling from me. Let it be Christmas wherever you are.

P.S. My first Christmas abroad and the song that got me through.

this made me...

cry, feel grateful that Mabel is my daughter, and feel grateful for Kate, who shared this song with me when Mabel was born.

recently downloaded.

The other night T and I went out for dinner and before we came home I decided I wanted a bubble tea (duh). This is only relevant because it gave me an opportunity to take a detour through GAP, which I do often, "Just to look!" Steps into the store, I exclaimed, "Good music!" and started dancing around.*

I didn't have my phone with me so I turned to Tony and accusingly said, "This is why you should have Shazam! I want to download this song but I don't know what it is."

Patiently and wisely, T said, "Just listen to the lyrics. Remember some and search it when you get home."

So I stopped dancing and made an extra effort to listen. I think I even tilted my head. On the way home, I sang to myself, "Give me one good reason why I should never make a change."

And behold! Budapest!



Downloading this song made me think of another song I wanted to download. Completely different vibe but still so good.



What songs have you been listening to lately?

*If you know me, you know that I really do exclaim things. I speak in exclamation points!

3 songs I've downloaded recently.

I discovered most of my favourite music artists through my favourite TV shows. Joshua Radin? Grey's Anatomy. Tegan & Sara? Grey's Anatomy. Ingrid Michaelson? Grey's Anatomy.

Okay. Those are the only examples I can come up with, and they are all from Grey's.

But the point is, I am not what one might consider "cool." And I discover a lot of new (to me) music through TV shows.

Here are 3 songs I've downloaded recently-ish:



"I Will Be There" - Odessa // via, you guessed it, Grey's Anatomy

If you ever need someone to cry to
If you ever need someone to hold you

I will be there
Standing by your side
I will be there
Standing by your side



"Dark and Stormy" - Hot Chip // via How To Get Away With Murder

We made our own love
Nobody helps us
We'll make our own luck
Outrun the sadness
We made our own love
Nobody helped us
We'll make our own luck
Outrun the sadness



"Don't Let Us Get Sick" - Jill Sobule // via Girls

Don’t let us get sick
Don’t let us get old
Don’t let us get stupid, all right?
Just make us be brave
And make us play nice
And let us be together tonight

What are you listening to lately?

P.S. A song for growing up and my favourite Songza station.

a song for today.

I've been listening to this on repeat, alternating between being close to tears and almost smiling. It's a day of in-betweens, I guess. A little bit of everything.

(Thank you, Cara. I love you. I miss you. More than words can convey.)

resources for twenty-somethings: 22.

Yes, I wish I had discovered this song when I was 22. And yes, I know that everyone is currently obsessed with Taylor's new song.

But despite the fact that I'm 24 now—soon to be 25, and the song has been out for some time, and everyone has probably moved on, I think "22" is still relevant.

Every time I hear it, I start singing and begin a little dance party wherever I am. This song makes me feel better. Happy. Vibrant. Young. I'm instantly transported to my earlier twenty-something days, where I'm dancing with new friends in the parking lot of my university residence late at night, wearing pyjamas that kind of pass for shorts (who was I kidding?), drinking a slushie (I think some of you would call it a slurpee?).

So, press play, sing along, and dance it out. Remember days that were less stressful, although you didn't know it at the time. Or revel in the nights that precede days that are spent being less stressed, although you don't know it yet.

all about that bass.

Am I the last one to fall in love with this song? Seriously, you guys. I've been having solo dance parties all over our tiny apartment.

Because you know I'm all about that bass, 'bout that bass. 

P.S. I've been thinking a lot about body image lately, and I think I'm starting to love myself more. Or maybe just care less about what others think? (Or about what I think others think.) I should write a post about it; I just don't know if I can put it into words.

my song of summer 2014.

One of the things I look forward to most about summer is driving around with the windows down, blasting the radio, singing along at the top of my lungs.

Usually, there's one song every summer that stands out more than the rest. Usually, it's the song that everyone else has also declared the "Song of the Summer."

Well, this summer I've complained a few times that "there's no good music." That there are "some okay songs, but I haven't heard any that I love."

And then.

The day after Tony had "the talk" with my Dad, I heard this:



MAGIC!'s "Rude" will forever be my Song of Summer 2014, no matter what the charts say.

P.S. Our proposal story.

happy in beijing.

You may have heard Pharrell's "Happy," but have you seen "'Happy' in Beijing"? I saw this video last week, right after seven (I think?) straight days of pollution at hazardous levels. And I'll admit, while I sometimes say I don't like Beijing, I'm usually pretty happy here. This video was a great reminder of that.

I've bookmarked it to watch whenever I start hatin' on my current home. And I'm sure I'll watch it after I move away (whenever that may be) and feel nostalgic. So many things in this video make me think of what I'll call "my Beijing": Heyrobics exercise class instructors, big bunches of colourful helium balloons, candied fruit on a stick, raw meat hanging in markets, pineapple being sold from a cart on the street, tuktuks, the architecture, delivery bikes, Sanlitun, and yes, even the masks and pollution.

I love my home and for now, I'm happy in Beijing!

Now, who wants to come visit??

stop this train + home.

Last night I was lying in bed feeling sad, but I couldn't put into words why. I asked Tony to play John Mayer's "Stop This Train" and as we listened, I cried.



Stop this train
I wanna get off and go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't, but honestly
Won't someone stop this train?

So scared of getting older
I'm only good at being young
So I play the numbers game to find a way
To say that life has just begun

...

Once in a while when it's good
It'll feel like it should
And they're all still around
And you're still safe and sound
And you don't miss a thing 'til you cry
When you're driving away in the dark

Singing, stop this train
I wanna get off and go home again
I can't take this speed it's moving in
I know I can 'cause now I see
I'll never stop this train

When the song was over, I tried to explain why I was feeling this way, but I still couldn't. Just that I felt lost, like I don't have a home, don't know where I'm going. Tony said, "Here, I'll play another song for you" and he played Philip Phillips' "Home."



Hold on to me as we go
As we roll down this unfamiliar road
And although this wave is stringing us along
Just know you're not alone
Cause I'm going to make this place your home

Settle down, it'll all be clear
Don't pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found

Just know you're not alone
Cause I'm going to make this place your home

I still felt sad and lost, but a little less so.

growing up.

The first time I listened to Run River North's "Growing Up," it hit me on so many levels. (Whatever that means.) But really, it did. I almost cried when I heard the first verse:

There's a fight to be won for the love you find at home 
There is work to be done before you rest your weary bones 
I'm finding peace don't come to everyone I know 
So I will love in this life till I finally have to go 

Thank you, Cara, for sending it to me. You have the best taste in music.

sunshine indie pop.

I discovered Songza a few weeks ago and I think it might be one of my favourite discoveries ever. It's a bunch of playlists that are curated based on mood, activity, etc. And it magically ;) knows what time of day it is and suggests playlists based on what it thinks you might be doing.

One of the best playlists I've listened to so far* is "Sunshine Indie Pop." Most of the songs have been awesome (you can give them a thumbs up or down) and I've ended up downloading a few because I really liked them (and I might not have discovered them otherwise):



"Kangaroo Court" by Capital Cities



"In the Sun" by She & Him



"Are You Ready?" by Kate Miller-Heidke



"Little Talks" by Of Monsters and Men

*A close second is "At a '90s School Dance" because obviously.

P.S. I just found "Sunshine Indie Pop Workout." Sweating just got better.

P.P.S. And I just realized that the "Sunshine Indie Pop" playlist is categorized as "Indie music that's not too weird," which is exactly the kind of Indie music I like.

P.P.P.S. This is not a sponsored post or whatever those posts are called where bloggers get paid or get gifts. I just think Songza is awesome.

shake it out.

I've been listening to this often-ish over the past few days. Things are a bit heavy around here lately (not in China, I mean; just with me) (but they're also really good, too! Isn't that funny how things can be kind of sucky but also awesome at the same time?), so I've been needing to shake it out.

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa

And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back

So shake him off, oh whoa

(Thanks for the reminder, Dalyce!)

you can't lose me.

"You Can't Lose Me" by Faith Hill* came on my iPod a couple weeks after my mom's diagnosis and as I skipped past it, something told me to go back and listen. At first I wondered, what does a little girl running a race have to do with me? And then I heard the chorus. And then the verse about the daughter going out on her own. Yup. Okay, Universe, I needed this song.

"You can't lose me, you bet your life

I am here, and I will always be, just a wish away

Wherever you go, no matter how far

My love is where you are

You won't be lost if you believe

You can't lose me"

It came on again this morning and as I listened, I thought, I could really use a Mother/Daughter Day today. Also, I think I might cry harder when I get home than I did when I left.

*If you ignore the cheesiness of the video, it's actually a pretty good song. Especially if you're a daughter and/or mother.

when did sesame street get so cool?

I mean, don't get me wrong, I've always been a fan of Elmo and Big Bird. And Bert and Ernie. And Oscar and Snuffleupagus. (In fact, I had Sesame Street bedding and decorations when I was a kid.) But these songs? These are rad!

"When you wanna do something that's new.

And it seems really, really hard to do.

You feel like quitting, you feel you're through.

Well I have some advice for you, don't give up."

"Oh! I'm a keep my head up high

Keep on reaching high

Never gonna quit

I'll be getting stronger.

And nothing's gonna bring me down (no!)

Never gonna stop, gotta go.

Because I know

I'll keep getting stronger."

carry me home.

I wouldn't call myself a Hey Rosetta! fan*, but when I saw that a friend had posted this song on Facebook, I clicked it for some reason. And boy, am I glad I did. I was so close to crying as I listened.

I'll be spending Christmas at a hotel called "Sunshine Place" in Boracay.** I'm guessing (hoping) the pillows won't stink, but I'll be arriving on December 24th and I don't think it will feel like Christmas Eve.

I'd give my food and drink
To see my home again
To see my mother's hand
Against her apron edge
...
Can any saints hear me?
Is there any angel near me?
If you won't lift me up
Then would you send my love
Back to my home
Back to my only shelter
Where in the awful weather
I will be warm and welcome

You can download "Carry Me Home" for free on their website. I did, and it's been playing on repeat ever since. I'll probably buy the entire EP, partly because I like the sound, and partly because of the name: A Cup of Kindness Yet.

*No particular reason; I've liked every song I've heard. I just never got into them and now I'm wondering why.
** I realize this isn't a bad place to be -- at all -- but it's not home, you know?

you can't always see when you're right.

Cara posted the link to this song tonight (her morning) on Facebook. And thank God she did. I listened to it once and felt immediately calmer. OK. And then I hit repeat. I'm listening to it for the fourth time right now. And will probably listen a few more times.

Slow down, you're doing fine. 
You can't be everything you wanna be before your time,
Although it's so romantic on the borderline tonight, tonight.
Too bad, but it's the life you lead.
You're so ahead of yourself that you forget what you need.
Though you can see when you're wrong, 
You know, you can't always see when you're right, you're right.

how to stress less: keep breathing.

There is one weekend in particular that stands out when I think of my second year of university. I got a couple of pieces of bad news within hours of each other on the Friday and I felt lifeless for the remainder of the weekend. I did little but cry and lay around.

Luckily, I found this song:



"The storm is coming but I don't mind...
All that I know is I'm breathing now...
All I can do is keep breathing
All we can do is keep breathing"

I listened to Ingrid Michaelson's "Keep Breathing" over and over that weekend. It made me realize that sometimes bad things happen and I'm not able to do anything about it. Sometimes all I can do is keep breathing. And that's enough.

Now, when I feel stressed, one of the first things I do is find this song and hit play. It makes me take a few deep breaths and I instantly feel lighter.

P.S. Another way to stress less.

If you have a strategy that helps you stress less, I'd love to hear it! Please feel free to share in the comments or e-mail me if you'd like to write a guest post.

on repeat.

Here are the three songs I find myself playing on repeat lately:



"Some Nights" by Fun

I don't know what it is about this song, but I heard it once and fell in love with it. It makes me feel like I'm not alone. We've all had those nights...



"It's All Okay" by Julia Stone

And it's all okay, 'cause love will find a way to be what love is.

I wasn't sure about this one at first and had to listen to it a few times. A friend described it as "haunting" and while I suppose it is, it also gives me an overwhelming feeling of calm.



"Devil Town" by Tony Lucca

When I hear this song, my eyes feel like they're going to well up. Which is not necessarily a bad thing. I have a tendency to feel heavy, and "Devil Town" makes me take a deep breath. And then another. And another, until I'm singing along.

Yes, it's from the Friday Night Lights soundtrack, which makes me love it all the more, but it's a good song nonetheless, promise. It does make me miss Dillon, Texas, though.

ingrid michaelson in concert.

Meredith called me on a Friday night in January (or was it February?) and said, "Tigger! I'm buying you a ticket to Ingrid Michaelson's concert here in Montréal! All you have to figure out is how you're gonna get here!"

A plan was hatched and on Monday, April 9th, I stood at the entrance of the Corona Theatre, grinning like a toddler who had just been given a huge lollipop.

Tyler and I wanted to get there right when the doors opened. Meredith was more laid-back and said that we didn't have to be there until the opening act began (or even after). Her wisdom prevailed (partly because I thought the doors opened an hour later than they actually did) and we arrived at the Corona a little after 8.

Pearl and the Beard opened and they were phenomenal. The vocals! The drums! Woohee, I almost peed my pants. Seriously, I kept turning to Meredith to say, "I think I need to use the washroom." Her response: "You're just excited. Turn around." She was right.

I wanted to be as close to the front as possible; I had nothing to worry about. First of all, Meredith was right when she told me that there wasn't a bad place in the theatre. The view was perfect no matter where you stood or sat. Second of all, apparently Ingrid Michaelson fans aren't very pushy. I was able to  slide right up to the edge of the stage without any dirty glances or elbows thrust in my direction. (The picture of Pearl and the Beard was taken before I was in the very front but it's still a good view, eh?)

When Pearl and the Beard finished their set, we had about 45 minutes to wait. And wait. And wait. There was much anticipation and my eyes were everywhere, trying to soak up every last bit of the atmosphere, not wanting to forget a single minute. Not wanting to forget how I felt.

Finally, Ingrid Michaelson was on stage, bathed in red light, performing "Fire," from her new album. Many of the songs she played were from her new album and Meredith and I were quite pleased with ourselves that we were able to sing along with every word.

When people ask me why I'm a fan of Ingrid Michaelson I respond, "I'm not. I'm a fan of her music. I have no idea what her favourite colour is, when she was born, who her parents are, etc. I don't know what she likes and dislikes aside from what she shares on Twitter. All I know is her music, what it means to me and how it makes me feel."

I don't know her any better after seeing her perform (obviously) but I can say she was fantastic. She has a beautiful voice but more than that, she's personable. (As personable as one can be standing on a stage in front of hundreds of people.) She talked a lot, sharing anecdotes and footnotes to her songs.

For the encore, she played some of her older stuff. "The Chain" is a favourite and I'm so happy I was able to hear it live. I was so happy to be there. With friends. With Meredith.

Music is magical. So are emotions. When they collide... there are no words. At least, none that I can come up with. There is laughter, though. And tears. And clapping and stomping. As there should be.

P.S. Other highlights from my trip to Montréal.